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I wish I had a British accent, or at least an Irish accent. Oscar Wilde was Irish. J.M. Barrie was Scottish, though, and he was about five times cooler, but not as witty. 

Oscar Wilde is remembered for his impeccable wit---he had something funny to say, even when there was nothing funny to talk about---but J.M. Barrie, in my opinion a better playwright, is remembered for his timeless character Peter Pan. But, of course, few equate Barrie with Pan---they seem to think that Disney invented Peter Pan. It's quite sad, actually...

But I have promised not to whine on this blog! Perhaps ramble, but never whine. I must, for the sake of my fellow man, change the subject. 

The new subject? Well, there is no new subject. Why do we need a subject? Is it truly necessarily ramble about something--when you can ramble about nothing at all. That's my new philosophy. 

This is it...

Well, as you now, most of my old posts were very moody. But from now on, I'm devoting myself to bad ass, funny as hell blog posts. My policy: If you don't fall over once during the first reading from laughter, you have some sort of disorder and needed to be hospitalized.
Seriously, call 911 right now, don't think about it, and go watch as much How I Met Your Mother as humanly possibly before the paramedics arrive, because if I don't make you laugh, then Barney Stinson sure as hell will.

Just look at that face. You know he's gonna say something funny.
I hope nobody sues me...